why the hell do i hate the way i feel right now?

i feel sick to my stomach....why did i let this happen? why did i let this get so far?

now it hurts, but thats my fault :(

this is my lil sister and my best friend

so, today i posted up a picture of my ultimate fantasy Jason Stathom. now normally i dont dig white guys..no offense its just that i've had white guys and they are no good but this one ladies and gentlemen...this one is the cream of the crop...he his blessed by the hand of God                 >> my mind...my thoughts are so messed up right now, i  cant even do i real blog right now b/c i honestly dont even know what to think about anything.....you know when u like someone ,  when you REALLY thought that u liked that person and then he's not like how u thought him to be..???? forgtet it....,i'm messed up right now....i'll try to blog again shortly...maybe in a few days or something....hasta luego*